Monday, April 27, 2009

Drained


So recently I have been working on my patience with people and frustrating situations...Everyone has something they need to work on in their life and I find that a lot of my arguments or unhappiness tends to stem from my impatience. Impatience with my family, impatience with silly questions, impatience with the people I care about the most.
I feel like I have a right to be upset with things sometimes and not because everyone else tells me so, but because I just know in my heart that its ok for me to be hurt and/or upset about something. Its really been weighing on my heart recently a situation involving my bf. I have tried super hard to not let it bother me but I can't help but feel hurt about the whole thing.
My birthday is in a couple weeks and I wanted to get a bunch of friends together to celebrate since last year I really didn't do anything. I was even more excited because I would actually have a bf in the same area and could be with me to celebrate. It just happens that my birthday falls on a Wednesday and so I was going to go to dinner and then out with people on Friday evening. It just so happens that one of my bf's best friends has his birthday over the weekend. So, he has chosen to go down and celebrate his friend's birthday with him and his friends instead of being with me and my friends. His explanation was that we would be hanging out the weekend before so that should be enough. He was actually "surprised" I was even upset. I really don't know how I couldn't have been hurt about the decision. Its really bad when your ex-bf that doesn't even talk to me anymore still sends me a b day present from Afghanistan and says he wishes he could be there to celebrate.
I am really bad about letting things go. And I hate being sad...I hope that this sadness that I am holding inside goes away soon...
P.S. I liked this picture because for some reason it reminds me of hope and continuance. I want to feel how the picture looks.

1 comment:

DocE said...

I'm so sorry you're feeling sad around your birthday, that's just unfair and not right. I think sometimes it's hard (at least for me) to just acknowledge that I'm hurt or angry or whatever when other people (usually the people involved with those feelings) don't or won't honor how I'm feeling. Not that they have to DO anything about it, but they can at least respect it - right? Anyway, enough of that blabbing, sorry for your heavy heart today. Sending some peaceful juju your direction.